Back to Awkward: Five Reasons You Should Just Give Up Trying to be Productive and Read Your Book

1. When the garbage truck hasn’t come in two weeks, and so it is necessary to boisterously swing your garbage bag up into the dumpster, and you happen to be holding another garbage bag in the other hand, as well as your dog’s leash, and just as you’ve gained enough momentum, the plastic drawstring breaks, you will fall over into the snow.
2. When you are yelling at your dog to leave the kitchen as you sauté onions for your scrambled eggs, you will knock over the bowl of perfectly seasoned eggs, sending half of them streaming over the newly-cleaned counter.
3. When you add an extra egg to your already-beaten eggs and then begin to add seasonings to make them perfect once again, you will use the wrong opening in the garlic powder and dump about two tablespoons of the good stuff into the egg bowl.
4. When you take a shower, you will reach for your loofa, only to have it unravel in your hands, creating an incredibly not-useful scarf version of itself.
5. The book is addictive, and apparently nothing else can go right, so there you go. :)