If Music be the Food of Love

I was eleven years old when the choir came and sang for the fifth graders at my school.  I remember them singing “Cruella DeVille” and “Secret Agent Man” and thinking, “They’re so cool!”  (teehee...)  We were given the chance to sign up for sixth grade choir that year, and I jumped at the chance (as long as my bestie would do it with me...no complete independence allowed in fifth grade).

The next fall, I was absolutely terrified the first day of school because I was positive that I would go to choir and be forced to sing by myself in front of everyone.  I begged my teacher to let me change my elective.  How lucky I am that she stuck to her guns and convinced me to go to choir that day.

My middle school choir years helped me gain a little more confidence in my abilities, although the director was not entirely inspiring, and our choir overall was very sad.  Still, I felt like part of a group (though a sadly tiny one by the end of eighth grade) and planned to continue singing in high school.

How happy I was when I met with the new choir director for the high school, and he seemed to think I might have some talent.  Having someone tell me that my voice had potential boosted my confidence tenfold.  Until then, I was very self-conscious about the odd quality of my voice and never felt truly comfortable performing alone.

More than anything, however, being in choir allowed me to have a wonderful mentor in my director, peers whose talent I truly admired, and a sort of family.  All of these things inspired me to share my love of music with a younger generation.  What better way than to become a teacher of music?

Over the past few years, my faith in my ability to teach and especially in my ability to inspire (to which, I would guess, most teachers strive) has been shaken.  Like many, I went into teaching with great ideas of what might be, thinking I’d turn every poor child to the proper course, inspire them to learn for learning’s sake, to love singing and making music as much as I.  Fooled I was by the inspirational leader movies that have been made throughout the years (Dangerous Minds, anyone?), despite knowing that movies were not real.  For the past few years, my job has changed annually.  Each year, less of my time could be devoted to music and more to Spanish language.  Though I love Spanish, I can honestly say that it is much easier to inspire someone with music than with foreign language.  By the end of my sixth year as a teacher, I was burnt-out and seriously reconsidering my choice to enter the field of education.

As luck would have it, someone decided that it was no longer necessary to have elementary Spanish, and so this year, I have been reinstated as a mostly-music teacher and have even been able to start up my elementary choir again.

I cannot tell you how amazingly happy the change has made me.  I am finally seeing that although I cannot change the lives of all of the children who pass through my doors, I can inspire at least a few of them to carry on the love of singing and being part of a choir.

It has been a bumpy road.  Three of my girls decided that they didn’t want to commit, and four of my boys unfortunately had to be removed from the group because of behavior issues.  However, I now get to spend thirty-five minutes three times a week making music with an incredibly talented, sweet, dedicated group of kids.  One girl in particular I have had as a student since she was just a tiny kindergartener.  She has always had incredible stage fright.  When I asked her personally if she would be joining the choir this year, though, I think she realized that I cared about her and wanted her to be part of our group.  How surprised I was when she was one of the fourteen students who actually auditioned for a solo.  Not only did she audition (after much coaxing), but it ends up that she has an amazing voice, if only she can get over her timid nature.  Tears filled my eyes as I thought of her and of her fellow choir members as high school singers, loving their choir as I had mine.

In truth, singing is one of a few things that make me truly happy.  If I can pass that love of music on to just one of my three hundred and fifty students each year, I feel I have succeeded.  If I can give that joy to one student, then she may be able to share it with another, and that will be worth all of the struggle that comes with this often thankless job.  "If music be the food of love, play on." ~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

So I originally posted the above video thinking it was another.  Oops!  Below is the video I really was trying to include...  Enjoy both? :)